so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
