No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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