We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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