you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
honey bunches of taint.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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