Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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