ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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