So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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