Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
