I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
