I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
