Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
