Plan B is the new Plan A
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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