i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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