After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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