well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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