The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
