When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
