perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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