omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My penis needs a shock collar
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
