I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
