why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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