his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
