there was a trapeze. enough said
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
dude. I can hear the air.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
