So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
