i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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