You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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