Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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