I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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