you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
