her vagina looked like bernie madoff
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
