Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's never too late to be topless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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