In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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