i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
