Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
