Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Randomize
