What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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