...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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