I'm really into asian looking animals
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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