The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Randomize
