Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
