Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want her autograph on my taint
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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