I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He? As in you personified your dick?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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