He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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