my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
