Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
