ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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