I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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