It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
