SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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