quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
