sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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