Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
