Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
