Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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