I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
