I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
