So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
