I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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