do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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