i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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