READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
