she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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