Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
