break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
