so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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