the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
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My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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