I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
