even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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