Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
