Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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