It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
