Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
