Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
