I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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