She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
