is your mom at the bar?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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