Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am one with the molecules
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
