I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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